Sept 12 2012..I died in a Mans mind..RIP Sexy Sugar Babyz

Hello my Faithful and dear readers,

I did not expect to be passing away in someones mind tonight. Yet alas, I did just that. I had been emailing him since May/June 2012 and I have a folder where ALL 184 emails are saved from him. I thought he was a real nice person..funny, smart, cool to chat with. He is the man of the Initial name here..(the one who lives in fear of being discovered on my blog and having people know the Initial is him..Gasp..the horror...the one simple initial could defeat and damage his whole world. How awful to count me among his friends..sigh)

Tonight I saw him on Y msg and simply IM-ed him asking him how angry was he with me..He claimed to not know what I was talking about. He told me he thought I was the one angry with him. Turns out he told me he is all alone in the world and alas, that is a lie..He has a quite lovely girlfriend who does not know a single thing about me. A good friend told me when we were discussing the Prince of Pain.. (the tombstone could rep his feelings for me too I suppose)..that initial has a "live in girlfriend"..mmmm, what about all those emails asking me for things..massage, to be a slave..to meet right now..(THO he refused to speak on the phone..One time he called here as he wanted me to help him through a personal session with a part of his anatomy and moan for him.) I was never sure how I was supposed to set up a meeting when I was not allowed to call him. He never once told me about the GF..all I heard was how lonely he was and no sex for yrs.

I told him how it hurt to be lied to after the Prince of Pain did it for 6 yrs..He denied lying to me. Told me no emails or FB msgs reached him. (Yeah, they did) Told me he owed me nothing though I had been completely honest with him from the beginning. Told me he didn't like it that I believed other peoples lies over him. I NEVER lie so this was quite a blow to me..and I merely told Initial that I was hurt ..not angry or mad..HURT that a friend told me the truth he seemed to be unable or unwilling to do.

His last words were..."Unless you send me those photos of you (racy) you are dead in my mind to me." I said "Ok got it.done" and ended the IM. Sooo unless my darlings I send a man and his GF too I guess, photos of me, I am dead to him. I told a darling friend of mine/role model to me and between her brilliant mind and my Sugar Daddy's, they created this lovely image.

I died tonight in some mans mind..RIP racy photos of me that were never sent and now never will be..LOL.

Initial I really liked you..thought we were becoming very good friends. I even said that right now I have 3/4 male friends I truly trust and named you (OH the horror, I actually said your name) as one of them. I hope you send flowers to my tombstone..this morning, I died in your mind.

RIP: ME :)

OUR Princess Diana..forever missed

Hello,

I am late in writing this as I was very sick and struggling still to find the right words. Has it truly been 15 yrs since we lost Princess Diana ? How is that even possible ? Even thinking about her and then the loss feels like someone is punching me right in my heart. I have long admired Diana and all she stood for. The causes she represented long before anyone else choose to do so. Aids, mines..etc..She stood up first when others shied away.

I remember her wedding..the birth of the kids..the divorce and how she came out of it all a stronger woman. I was happy for her and proud of her.

So much love in her heart for others and the eternal search for love for herself. Did she find it at the end of her young life ? No idea..but I for one am happy she was at peace in Paris and on vacation with Dodi. He made her laugh and what woman doesn't love a man who can make them laugh and feel secure ? I know I do. (Sugar Daddy is excellent at making me feel secure and laughing all the time)

Then the fateful night in Paris..The drive to escape the Paparazzi..that forever dammed tunnel..I was coming home and up the stairs of my building. Mom opened the front door.."Have you heard ?" she asked me. I'd been listening to Frank Sinatra on the car radio so thought perhaps we lost him.."Frank ?" I asked as we walked inside.

"NO, Diana." I put my purse down..God NO..Not her..It must be some other Diana.."Dodi is dead" Mom quietly said. That is when I knew it was not some other Diana..it was OUR Diana.

"Mom, I can't process this..I will think about Dodi later" I looked at the TV..the ambulance in the tunnel..the long wait to move her to hospital.I felt as if I'd been punched..and I can still feel the hurt. I sat there...waited and waited and the news..the death of someone I cared about..looked up to and adored. OUR Peoples Princess , Diana was gone. "The boys" I whispered.."Oh god the kids". Luckily they were not in the car with Diana, Dodi, Henri Paul the driver and the bodyguard. Funny thing I can see all of them in the car, at the hotel steps waiting for the car and for the life of me can not recall the bodyguards name..(yeah some writer and researcher me.. I should have looked it up first before starting this..)

To this day when I think of her..It is with pride of what she accomplished..what she gave to the world in 2 amazing sons..Prince William and Prince Harry..I still feel the loss and always will. I remember hearing Diana is dead..going to the bathroom and just crying in agony..How can the world be so cruel ? I know men and women see her loss differently..Men shrug when we talk of Diana in glowing terms..Yet I will always remember where I was when we lost her..and how it felt to hear the news.

I can see her in my minds eye at the wedding of her son William..a true love match with his beloved Kate. How happy she would have been and all eyes on her until Kate walked in , in that "dress". How she would have laughed, loved and been happy..

God Rest your Soul Diana .. Dodi, I am sorry for your loss . Your family aches for you too, and always will. Thank you for being a part of our world even though it was way to short a time.

I will miss you..and I know my Mom and My friends who are in Heaven before me, told you I said Hello when you all passed each other "Up there".

Maureen***

I will Survive..even a Princes Lies can not harm me anymore"

Hello Darlings,

I know long time no see..I have been checking back and forth here and nice to say that the Lego pix and my Monster High Pix are certainly getting a lot of Google attention. I feel so bad tho as folks come here thinking they are going to read all about a collector and her "toys" and then they end up in Sugar Baby Land. Sorry folks, the door is over there..Nice to see you and I am waving :)

My Dollhouse is one that was built around me. I am known as a "Sugar Baby" as I live with the man who takes care of me and provides for me. He buys the toys and I show my appreciation. He is a good man, a better man than some one like me deserves. I do my best to keep him happy. At least I think he is happy. I am pretty sure he'd prefer it if I did not have so many  many male friends. Well, I have one less now. LOL. Thanks Prince O Pain..Message received. Now you know why a Haunted Doll-House is the image for my blog.

I am a member on various social networking sites..One of whom is way cute and just went through a name change..It is like being in school and you take your yearbook around and have folks sign it. You collect all the cool people you wish you'd been buddies with in school/life. Anyhoo..over there some anon person asked me this question..and this was my reply..


Maureen

Q: If you could be reincarnated into anything you wanted, what would it be? asked by Anonymous

A: Me :) With all I know and all my memories so I would NEVER make the same mistake twice.

Then I could warn all the women that fake MEN abuse, to avoid those so called Men at all costs.

Hugs, MOI

Ok so that was pretty ballsy I admit..Like hey, I've had such a fabulous life as a kept woman that now I want to relive it all over again...

Then I took a peek at my Love horoscope for Sunday and this is what it told me..


Your love horoscope for August 26, 2012  :

The planetary configuration is bringing you to the point where you can no longer remain silent about a certain subject. You can no longer hide behind a mask of smiling pleasantries, but need to be authentic. Say it like it really is - whatever it is. Then your smile will be a real smile as the difficulties melt away before your eyes, and you feel healed within and without.

Is someone in our amazing Universe trying to tell me to just be Me..tell the truth ..do not let him hurt anymore women ..I do not know. Whatever it is trying to say, I am listening.

Welcome to my Dollhouse..I hope you'll consider visiting it again..Fairly cool place I think. I am open to suggestions, ideas and oh yes, Happiness too :)

Hugs and Kisses,

Maureen

"Sugar Baby  Extraordinaire  "

Watch this space My darlings...Baby is back on top !!

Hello,

This is now the first day of the rest of my Life. I know what I want and I know I will get it. I am rewriting this blog as I still love the artwork but my life is happier then when I first penned this blog post.

I do not know if you will see this..but I am glad you are back in my life. Any part of you, even a tiny amount as compared to what we've shared before, is better then none. I asked for friends forever and that is what we have.

You know me well enough to know that I keep my word and all my promises to you.

On the Happy Road to bigger and better things,

xxoo

Maureen

Haunted House in Just my Size

Hello all,

Trying to load this on mo time..LOL..This house is sooo my size, haunted and perfect..I must have it. Brand new not yet released of the Lego Monster Fighters series. I have a bunch of their Castle series but I need this one..I want this one...I will have it :) (Insert wicked evil laugh)

Want to be my neighbor ?

Hugs,

Maureen

When the heart is pulled from your body...where do you begin to trust again ?

Hello Faithful readers,

C'est Moi..feeling in a very bluesy mood today..it is almost the witching hour..Midnight..perhaps when it turns to become WED, I'll feel better. I've been fighting back the tears for hours now and fighting a losing battle with them.  I thought censoring my blog at the "other site" was bad enough..I thought watching a friend be stalked by a lunatic was horrible..I thought losing a friend would be the worst I could go through..and I was right on that...It hurts like a son of a B...a deep , cavernous wound that feels like it will never close. I felt this same pain when my Best Friend Alex was taken from me by a massive heart attack. I can not replace her..or my Mom..or anyone I've lost to Heaven. What makes it even rougher is I did nothing to deserve the loss...I was the cheerleader..the whipping boy..the one who always believed in Him and his dreams..and now..a month has gone by and like the idiot I am, I sit and wait..perhaps today will be the day my friend speaks nicely to me..

I guess when we agreed to always be friends I thought he meant it as much as I did..At least I am glad our last "good" day together was April 19th and I got to say what was in my heart even though I was scared to death to say it..scared it would upset him/tick him off..My hands shook..my heart pounded so loudly I thought he could hear it...and I quietly typed..

"1 year or 1 thousand..I will always want and ache for you and  feel the  need to please you..and it will always be there " I waited..shaking and he typed back..We've been friends for 6 yrs..and this was a year anniversary of whatever else we "shared". I promised him early on that my feelings for him would never change but always, always, always be there..

"YESSSSS it will" he typed..Our last happy conversation ended on a happy passionate note. For that I will always be grateful.

Forgive me my tears...understand my heart is not only aching, the damm thing is shattered..I am so afraid I will never be able to trust anyone else ever again..6 years or 6 thousand, this kind of pain never dies..Perhaps one of these nights I will start sharing here how it all began...how it tragically ended..maybe even some of my erotica will find a home here and go back to where it belongs on the "other site".

Thanks for reading this..and for being here..Kind of feels like I am not alone..Close the door softly as you leave..Please.

Hugs,

Maureen***

The Dolls (well some of) in my Dollhouse

Hello Dear Readers,

I shared this photo on my FB page but thought I'd share it here too..These are the dolls that helped inspire me to bring my dollhouse here and blog about my life as a Sugar Babyz. Sugar Daddy bought all these dolls. They range from $3.99 for the open Cleo de Nile dolls out of package up to $21.99 for a Lagoona set. They are highly addictive as you can see/tell. I told Him that he never enables my bad behavior/choices. Sugar Daddy laughed then said that He only enables me in this collection and one on Kathy Van Zeeland handbags. LOL. He is such a good provider..I am a lucky Babyz indeed.

Happy Half Naked WED..Happy HUMP Day..Happy Wankers Day as my sis says in the UK,

Have fun & Enjoy Life,

xxoo,

Maureen