Why am I here too ? I have Myspace..Tagged..Facebook..Live Journal ..I belong to various other sites and can share there too. I came here as I have an amazing friend with a fantastic blog and her talent encouraged me to try this out.
Yes obviously I like dolls but that is not what life inside the doll house is all about. That term came to me as some men see me as a doll.. I do not know why. Maybe because I am petite..I am a people pleaser..I do not see me as others see me. I am not as easily impressed with myself as others are. Do I want to be accepted as a doll or as I see me ? My whole life I have belonged to someone but not myself. First my parents who spoiled me rotten and brought up the proper little Princess. I never wanted for anything except perhaps my own identity. I was brought up surrounded by toys and dolls and images of what female beauty is supposed to mean and be. I felt like a tiny doll inside a very big dollhouse that someone else created for me.
I went from my Mothers home straight to the home of the man who is my Sugar Daddy. He does for me what my Mother always did..spoils me rotten and I give him whatever he needs and wants. I have not had to provide for myself because there was always plenty and I could spend my time concentrating on my writing and acting/dancing. I know life is much more difficult for others than it ever has been for me. I am not complaining just trying to figure myself out.
I took a book out of the library and the title is "Why Men Love Bitches..how to go from being a doormat to a dreamgirl"..I guess I am trying to figure out who I really am and what do I want from the world I was born and bred to please others in. Be cute..be grateful and smile..that is how I was raised. The Perfect little Princess girl, that is me. "You are sooo sweet" is what I always hear. Am I really ? Or am I the bad girl hiding behind an angelic image ? A man I care for told me he feels I play the role of the "angel" to the hilt and that inside me there is darkness and depravity. Yet he isn't scared by that and seems attracted to it. I can not figure it out by myself so perhaps in writing here..I can figure it out.
Am I the good little doll in the scary haunted doll house or am I the bad girl only out for what she can get from others ?
Willing to take the journey with me ? Than buckle up baby, it is going to be bumpy ride indeed..